The U URSELF Routine

The U URSELF Routine is designed to help children feel good. Feeling good about themselves is crucial to being happy, heathy, and successful that’s why Esteem is part of the U URSELF Routine.

The U URSELF routine also allows us to take charge and to feel Confident and Proactive as parents, guiding us in what we should be doing and when, just as much as our children. That’s why it’s such an effective and valuable parenting tool. When followed consistently on a daily basis, the U URSELF Routine helps us deduce a lot from our children’s behaviour. For example, if they have had enough sleep, we can rule out them being tired when they misbehave or get upset, but if we know that they have not had enough sleep, then we will be able to see where the problem lies.

Routines also help us to proactively pre-empt beforehand our children’s behaviour so we can plan and accommodate for those times when there have been interferences in their routines. For example, if we know they have not had their nap, we can avoid taking them to soft play until after they have had a nap.

Having this knowledge helps us limit a lot of unnecessary upset, not only for our children, but for ourselves too. Over time, with a consistent approach to the U URSELF routine, becoming over tired, starving hungry, bored, or attention seeking will be almost eliminated most of the time as the routine meets those needs in advance before it’s too late.

By offering our children food before they are hungry or by putting them down for a nap just before they desperately need one, we help them to feel understood, cared for, and content.  This prevents tears and tantrums for both parent and child because trying to soothe an over tired baby to sleep is a very stressful time for all in earshot, so it’s never a good idea to wait until it’s too late.

Carve the path for your child to walk or tread the hot coal’s that follow, it’s up to you.

Only you know what is best for you and your child and your family as a whole. Each and every family has their own way of doing things and their own setup. Therefore, it’s you yourself who will ideally decide the routines you want your child to follow.

I have used with great success the U URSELF Routine with my own children and countless other parents that I have worked with.

It’s one routine as a whole that comprises of seven different, yet co-dependant aspects. In order for you to remember the seven aspects of the routine, below is a useful mnemonic to help you, using the words ‘You Yourself’ abbreviated, and spelt U URSELF. These combined are what I refer to as the U URSELF routine.

  1. U = U time
  2. U = Us time
  3. R = Recreation
  4. S = Sleep
  5. E = Esteem
  6. L = Love
  7. F = Food

Those seven, separate, yet co-dependent, routines combine into one solid tried and tested routine. They offer an outline of what every child needs, and why, to be happy, healthy, and successful.

Individual in their own right, each topic is co-dependent on one another, because it’s pointless addressing our children’s behavioural issues if we aren’t addressing their sleep issues. Each aspect of our children’s lives impacts one another, there’s no point addressing your child’s sleeping habits if you don’t look at their exercise and recreational habits too. And like a missing piece of the puzzle, leaving out one area will fail to give us the whole picture. All the pieces or parts of the routine need to be collectively addressed at the same time.

We all do it, we focus on an area we feel is the problem and either buy a book dedicated to treating that problem area or tackle that area head-on with or without the help of others, but fail to find the solution we are after.

We need to encompass our children’s habits as a whole in all areas, even those areas we are happy with that cause our child no issues.

They may be a good eater but what are they eating and when?

This can all have an impact on their quality of sleep and be an underlying cause of their sleep problems.

However, The U URSELF Routine will not tell you specifically what to do and when in each area. The specifics are always up to you to decide what best suits you and your individual child. The U URSELF routine will, however, be a useful guide.

Even though much of it is common sense, having a motive, or understanding the benefits of each aspect will give you the motivation and knowledge to stick to the routine, particularly when times become challenging.

If consistently followed, The U URSELF Routine is a reliable blueprint to guide you, but not if it’s just on paper. You can read about it, and I can keep writing about it until we are blue in the face, but without taking action to implement it, it’s worthless common knowledge.  You have to be proactive in encouraging and following it with your child. So, let’s begin.

I’m sure you’re eager to begin implementing routine in your child’s life by now.

But before we charge straight in, there’s some pointers to consider first.

Twelve points to be precise, which are as follows.


If you feel you could benefit from some help and support you may be interested in Mumatherapy

Stay Present, Em x