At the beginning of every New Year, I sit down and plan my year ahead. I write down my dreams, desires and goals.
Then I compile a list of ‘To Do’s’ to help me achieve them, which usually motivates me to get going.
To get busy weaving my dreams into reality.
But one thing 2020 has taught me is that, even my best laid plans can go awry. Although I had big goals for last year, the most important ones I achieved were not through planning or doing but through unforeseen circumstances and just going with the flow and ‘being’.
Spending more family ‘Us Time’ present in the moment and feeling relaxed and content just doing nothing, happened naturally during lockdown.
Having time to get both of my books completed and published arose from a misfortunate Covid-19 set of circumstances, forcing me to close my childcare business for months.
Appreciating friends and family more was another side effect of being kept apart from those I loved.
And being grateful for everything I had, such as my business, my home and family became enough to make me stop and see that- I already had everything I needed and wanted in life.
So today on January the 1st 2021, as I sit in the warm glow of sweet-scented candlelight, notebook and pen in hand, ready to plan 2021, there’s only one goal on my list this year and that’s simply to enjoy each and every moment with those I love.
What a boring world it would be if we
all liked doing the same things, the same way?
Without variety and differences
conversation would soon dry up.
Yet we still expect our children to
endure subjects that just don’t interest them.
One day I believe or should that be, I
hope, the school curriculums will include more variety and options. Offering
more choice for children, especially for those who aren’t naturally academic,
to enjoy their learning, doing things that inspire and motivate them.
Hidden Talents
A lot of current issues that are happening
on our streets today concerning children and crime, I believe, are due to
children not feeling unique and special as they are, with the abilities they’ve
been given. A lot of children don’t realise their true potential or hidden
talents because they haven’t been given the chance to discover them. Many children
feeling overlooked or rejected by a school system that makes them feel less
than what they really are.
Times have changed and the way we
teach and treat our children needs to change too.
We have to be more creative in our
approach. Allowing for more sporting and artistic talents to be a part of the
school curriculum, giving them equal emphasis and recognition as the more
traditional core subjects.
I mean who actually gets paid more, a
footballer or a mathematician?
You do the math? (I was never good at that subject in school…oops… Thanks to Mr Jones, there pops up my biggest self-limiting belief again!!!)
life is about being happy and healthy, not unhappy and wealthy!
Not all children aspire to be in
intellectual careers.
Most just want to enjoy what they do using their hands and creativity, such as flower arranging, making fancy cupcakes or building impressive structures, such as those that house schools. Life is about being happy and healthy, not unhappy and wealthy. Money and future aspirations aside, its about how our children are experiencing life right now at school.
All the GCSE’S in the world, won’t
empower our children in the future and make them happy. In today’s world they aren’t
even a guarantee of job security either.
Happiness is a state of being
cultivated from a young age.
We come to expect what we get and get what we expect as we grow older.
Happy optimistic children, who follow
their own dreams and enjoyment, succeed and find rare opportunities, that are otherwise
hidden from those clutching at hard earned grades, who settle for a safe job
for the sake of money, in fear of failure or lack.
Some children just can’t stand sitting
in a classroom, memorising facts that are of no relevance to them. However, this
doesn’t mean they shouldn’t be taught these subjects, alongside the things they
do enjoy learning.
We just have to find more interesting ways, to make those subjects that they dislike, more enjoyable. We can start by fuelling their passion. Encouraging them in those areas they enjoy and are good at, and by finding each child’s preferred learning method. Some simply prefer a more hands on approach rather than theory.
After all, life is about putting
learning into practice. Little use knowing what to do but not knowing how to do
it, is there?
So, money and future aspirations aside,
lets focus on the present and on how our children are experiencing life right
now.
A chance to spoil our Mums if we are lucky, or remember them and all the good times they gave us if they are no longer with us.
But its also
a time for us to get spoilt too!
Even if its only breakfast in bed, time to relax in a bath full of bubbles, read a good book in the garden or buy ourselves a new outfit.
Its the simple things in life that mean the most!
If you’re a MUM it’s time for YOU!
U
COME FIRST
You not only deserve this
time for yourself but your child does too.
‘You’ are the most important person in your
child’s life.
Anyone who has ever flown
on an aeroplane will be familiar with the
safety drill, where the Stewardess asks you to make sure you put on your own
safety vest and masks, before your children’s or anyone else’s.
Taking care of ‘You’ is a
priority because if you don’t, then you won’t be able to care for your child or
anyone else.
Yet many of us selfless Mums
still think it’s ok to put the needs of others, especially our children’s,
before our own.
We are not being selfish by taking care of our own needs before anyone else’s, it’s essential.
If we take care of our
own needs and wellbeing and pursue our own interests, then not only our own
happiness, health, and success will be positively affected but noticeably our
children’s too.
Nothing beats a good book and a bath!
A happy Mum, equals a happy, contented child.
That’s why, we should
never neglect or underestimate the importance of time for ourselves.
LET’S
BEGIN
And there’s
no time like the present!
We needn’t
wait for Mother’s Day, right now is as good a time as any to begin. So, before
we go any further grab a notebook,
pen, and a cuppa and let’s start our U
Time now by taking some time to reflect on how we would like to spend our
special day this Sunday?
As they say;
‘No plan is a plan to fail!’
So, let’s write down some ideas and make it a concrete
promise to ourselves.
Who else wants time just
for themselves to;
Have a bath?
Read a book or magazine?
Watch a Film or Box Set?
Enjoy a glass of wine?
Go out for a meal?
Visit the cinema or an Art Gallery?
Go for a massage, manicure, facial or
acupuncture?
Have a new Hair Style?
Go for a Makeover?
Take up a new hobby?
Start an Educational Course?
Write, Paint, Play an instrument or sing?
Work out at the gym?
Meditate or try Yoga?
Participate in a sport?
Relax it’s YOUR Special Day!
There are so many
ways to make your day special, so start dropping those hints to your partners
or children (if they are old enough) now. Give them time to arrange a treat you
really want, because they know you’re worth it.
If you don’t have
anyone able to treat you, then go treat yourself now.
Make that
appointment, order that book, enrol in that course, or book that table for you
and a friend.
MAKE
EVERYDAY SPECIAL
U time doesn’t have to be
reserved for special occasions such as Mother’s Day though.
We can make our whole
life more enjoyable, if we use our time
doing things that we like and want to do.
If we’re honest, doing
anything other than that is a waste of our precious time.
It’s pointless only ever
enjoying time for yourself just because its Mother’s Day, and enduring 364 days
of tending to the needs and desires of everyone else.
It’s like living for the
weekend to arrive or our summer holidays, in order to relax and be happy.
This just robs us of the opportunity to live and enjoy life to the fullest.
It’s living less than half a life.
Let’s meditate on that for a moment.
If we could only plan our
lives like we do Christmas or our summer holidays, then all that attention to
detail, time, energy, money, and
motivation to make it good, would create a fabulous life.
Decide now not to reserve
those fun times for special occasions, celebrations or holidays.
It’s about enjoying and
appreciating every day, including those ordinary boring days like today, when
nothing extraordinary or special is happening…. just your life!
Easy conception, easy pregnancy, easy birth
and easy to love.
Today on this special 13th birthday,
celebrating you becoming a teenager, I also want to thank you for making me a more
present parent.
First time around, as a new mum everything’s
new and frightening. You just don’t really know what to expect or know what you
are doing?
It’s a learning process full of doubts, tears
and fears!
So caught up in dirty nappies, sleepless nights
and parenting anxiety, it’s hard to enjoy those first few years as a new mum.
But by the second child most of us are feeling a bit more confident, but alas, sadly for some, complacent and busy.
You taught me how to enjoy being a mum. And
how to appreciate every minute as special.
Your love makes ordinary moments most would
take for granted, as precious and unique.
You made me notice them.
You made me present to the joy of being a
parent and of being your Mum. A privilege I’ll always hold dear.
Such as the time when you were just three
years young. I was taking you to the Dentist, when as we were holding hands and
crossing the road, out of the blue you said;
‘I love
you Mum.’
I can still remember to this day, thinking
that this was such a good moment in my life.
I wanted my mind to photograph it forever, so that when we were both
older, we could look back upon that ordinary moment, with fondness.
A great time, when we were both truly present
together, enjoying one another’s company.
We were just going about our daily business. Yet,
it was such an extraordinary, emotional moment for me. So much so that, I can
still feel those positive, loving, warm, fuzzy feelings deep inside me,
whenever I recall that moment now.
Even now, you still greet me on the school
yard every day with a kiss, hug, pat on the back and a ‘I love you.’
I know I’ve said you don’t need to do that in
public now, in case it’s embarrassing?
And you said ‘No I want to. It’s not
embarrassing’.
And I melt inside with pride, that you are not
afraid to openly show your love.
I don’t know what I have done to deserve such
beautiful, loving children but I’m glad I’ve be blessed with you both.
As normal and mundane as a trip to the dentist
with your child may sound, I can guarantee that in years to come, you too will
realise how special those everyday moments in time really are. Even if those
moments do not feel like it today.
One day, those simple everyday memories, will
be where you will linger longingly, wishing you could go back to.
Noticing, appreciating and being fully present
in those moments we are spending with our children today, is what Present
Parenting is all about. Because one day those moments, will be some of the best
moments in our lives.
They truly are priceless, irreplaceable
nuggets of time.
Time we all too often take for granted,
because we are disillusioned by the concept that, the work and worries that
occupy our minds, are the things that need our attention the most. Yet, neither
now nor in the future, will anyone or anything, ever bring us the joy,
fulfilment or happiness that our children do.
It’s who we are with, and the love
and time we give that counts!
If today was the only time we had left on
Planet Earth, chances are we would not want to clean our house or work
overtime, schmoozing our boss for a pay rise?
Chances are, we would want to spend our time
with our loved ones?
Having fun and letting them know how much we
love them. While appreciating, how much we too, are loved by them.
We don’t always remember the dates or details
in life, but we always remember how we felt. This is what our children will
always remember too.
It doesn’t matter what we have or achieve in
life, it’s all a waste of time, it’s who we are with and the love and time we
give, that counts!
Childhood doesn’t last forever. When our
children reach their teens, it’s going to be too late to regret, not having had
the time to; paint, play, cook, read, sing, dance and enjoy our time with them,
while young.
Make the most of now, and start to live in and
enjoy each and every moment with your child, from now on.
Tomorrow is promised to no one, stay present
and be generous with that time.
If you knew this was your last day ever with
your child, you would hang on to their every word and not waste a single second
of that time. Always keep in mind, one day will be the last day you spend
together.
There’s no time like the present, and no
present like time!
